I have been thinking more about goals since posting Play. Of course it is that time of year when I always wrap up the usual suspects and go after Resolutions, which are just goals reworked. Why do I feel the need to do this? Is it worry about slippage, the fear of backward motion that we perceive comes with age? Or, the loss of the adrenaline coming from being super-busy, being “on the hill,” which is my code term for fighting to be really alive.
The little bunny asked me recently what I thought about Goals, whether they were good or bad. Too fast, I responded that Goals are positive in helping us accomplish.
Now I am rethinking this.
Goals may not be the big thing. It is possible that because I set a direction, I was able to make a business work, I was able to raise outstanding children, and I can still fit into my old jeans. Or, these would have happened anyway because they came from who I am, and that is a person who decides and does things.
But the byproduct of focusing on goals – a fierce daily task-mastering, a scheduled obligations (including the ones that were supposed to be fun) – is a huge cost. Running forward, it turns into double and triple tasking to fit it all in – eating standing up in the kitchen while doing something else, thinking about the next task and pairing it with yet another. At work, even more. A personal assembly line of motion to get one day done.
And then that day is done, and ticked off the calendar, and never happens again. That day lost to the task – is that a bigger waste of time?
I have the sense that being really alive probably isn’t about the fight. It might instead be living with space to breathe.
So I have decided to be unresolved (eek – sounds like a goal!) as I start the new year. I will naturally continue to do most “things” that I do, since these are usually good (and besides, I can’t really help myself). But I will also try to pare down the noise, the multi-tasking, and stress of trying to overachieve my own target.
These are the things I will try:
– To slow down and taste all the things in food
– To pay attention to the clouds (I want sunset but it’s Chicago!)
– To enjoy the stitch rather than reaching the end of the row
– To not refuse the dog’s request to play, and never time a play session
– To enjoy the writing and not count posts
It is interesting that little bunny created the opening for this idea. Happy New Year, little bunny.